The Mean Lady's Elbow
Monday, July 6, 2009 at 08:26PM
Diane Bones

It's my birthday and I'm sitting with hubby in an outdoor music center after a picnic dinner, awaiting an evening concert by the world famous Philadelphia Orchestra. Two little girls are running down one of the aisles when a woman in the row in front of them turns in her seat and screams, "no running!" Does she know those kids, we wonder? It doesn't appear so. Wow, that takes nerve. Maybe she's a playground monitor or a lifeguard who is programmed to say that famous phrase. But this is an open-air venue and the concert hasn't even started, so talking, laughing and yes, even running, are completely appropriate. Oh well. In a few minutes, the two girls return and they are running again, as kids are apt to do. Mean Lady spots them, scowls and, just as the girls approach her seat, she throws an elbow timed to hit the youngsters. Hubby Dave and I look at each other as if to say, "Did you see that?" Meanest Lady Alive could have really hurt those little kids, but the girls just shake it off - maybe they can't believe the old battleaxe really meant them harm - and continue running toward their family. For the rest of the night, Dave and I can't get over Mean Lady's actions. Throughout the concert, she refrains from physically assaulting anyone else, but directs her evil eye at whomever in the audience dares to displease her - coughers, antsy children, people who dare to breathe.

My birthday wish that night? That I avoid morphing into Mean Lady some day - and keep my stinkin' elbows to myself.

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