The Knee Bone's Connected To ...
tsb

Such a face! Daddy Bones@ age 12, gracing the book's cover.

 

 How to Keep Your Sanity Intact When a Loved One Needs a Nursing Home  

It’s estimated that more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year.

Studies show that extremely stressed caregivers can age or die prematurely. 

“Bette Davis said ‘old age is no place for sissies,’ but caring for an older loved one isn’t for the feint of heart, either,” says Bones. “I loved my dad and we were very close, but the strain of ‘putting’ him in a nursing home was so overwhelming for all of us that I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.”

Becoming aware of some of the don’ts” of long-term care can make daily life easier for nursing home residents and for their family caretakers,” she notes.

Bones offers some key examples from her Nursing Home Checklist:

· Ask clergy, family, and friends - especially those in the health care field - to recommend outstanding nursing homes.

· When touring a nursing home, ask other visitors for frank feedback about the facility. Don’t just inspect the “sample” room, look into residents’ rooms to check for cleanliness.

· Assure your loved one that you will be their ongoing advocate.

· Visit your loved one often and at varying times of the day - and night. This alerts all of the caregivers that you are keeping an eye on your loved one.

· Get to know the staff, especially your loved one’s immediate caregivers.

· Thank the employees for the thankless job that they do.

· Put your loved one’s name on all their belongings, including clothes and personal products. Never leave money or valuables in their room.

· Place a quilt, photos and other small touches to create a “homey” room.

· Put a brief bio and picture of your loved one at the entrance of their room to “introduce” them to staff and visitors.

. Bring old photos when you visit your loved one - it will give you something to look at if conversation lags.

. Bring different edible treats to spice-up the resident's menu.

 

 


 

 

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Monday
Aug312009

Yo, Dollface...

DateMonday, August 31, 2009 at 05:22PM

So here's the quandary: My best pal is miffed because some middle-aged sales guy in a furniture store addressed her first as "hon" and then as "sweetie." (If you have ever stepped into a furniture store, you know that the salespeople in these places are specially trained to hunt you down and hold on to you with the persistence of a cheerleader looking for a suitable quarterback to take to Homecoming.)

She didn't mind his basic sales rap, but the unexpected terms of endearment had "buddy, you just lost a sale" written all over it.

I know what she means. Over the phone, a customer service guy once tried to calm me down by saying, "OK, dear..."

I took "OK, dear" as the equivalent of "Now get a hold of yourself, Granny" and icily informed him that it would be best for everyone if he refrained from addressing me as if I went to school with Mamie Eisenhower.

It reminds me of an older in-law who I took to dinner one evening at a lovely restaurant. She did not enjoy the familiarity displayed by our sixty-something waitress who addressed us as "luv" and "honey." I'm used to the Philly favorites - "hon" and "youse" - and didn't even notice her catch phrases. "She acts as if she knows us," my in-law noted disdainfully. Me? I'll take the love-bug waitress over the server who never looks you in the eye while reciting "a gluten-free salmon steak served with a wisp of wasabi glaze and a cornucopia of twice-baked carrots and confetti snow peas" in a strained monotone.

Ironically, my bud who was annoyed by the creepy furniture man often uses monikers such as "sis" and "doll" when chatting with me, as in "where's that fifty bucks you owe me, sis" or "OK, doll, you gotta do something about that wardrobe of yours."

But we've known each other since the first moon landing. The furniture dude? He's a newbie and shouldn't take such liberties. It's OK for my sweetie to call me "sweetie" and your mom to call you "hon" but folks need to know where to draw the affectionate line.

But then again, after being greeted once too often with "bee-ach" or, "hey, *!#hole" maybe a salutation of, "greetings, pumpkin!" isn't so bad after all.

You know what I mean, snookums?

 

AuthorDiane Bones | CommentPost a Comment |

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