The Knee Bone's Connected To ...

Such a face! Daddy Bones@ age 12, gracing the book's cover.


 How to Keep Your Sanity Intact When a Loved One Needs a Nursing Home  

It’s estimated that more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year.

Studies show that extremely stressed caregivers can age or die prematurely. 

“Bette Davis said ‘old age is no place for sissies,’ but caring for an older loved one isn’t for the feint of heart, either,” says Bones. “I loved my dad and we were very close, but the strain of ‘putting’ him in a nursing home was so overwhelming for all of us that I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.”

Becoming aware of some of the don’ts” of long-term care can make daily life easier for nursing home residents and for their family caretakers,” she notes.

Bones offers some key examples from her Nursing Home Checklist:

· Ask clergy, family, and friends - especially those in the health care field - to recommend outstanding nursing homes.

· When touring a nursing home, ask other visitors for frank feedback about the facility. Don’t just inspect the “sample” room, look into residents’ rooms to check for cleanliness.

· Assure your loved one that you will be their ongoing advocate.

· Visit your loved one often and at varying times of the day - and night. This alerts all of the caregivers that you are keeping an eye on your loved one.

· Get to know the staff, especially your loved one’s immediate caregivers.

· Thank the employees for the thankless job that they do.

· Put your loved one’s name on all their belongings, including clothes and personal products. Never leave money or valuables in their room.

· Place a quilt, photos and other small touches to create a “homey” room.

· Put a brief bio and picture of your loved one at the entrance of their room to “introduce” them to staff and visitors.

. Bring old photos when you visit your loved one - it will give you something to look at if conversation lags.

. Bring different edible treats to spice-up the resident's menu.





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I witnessed two sides of showbiz this weekend: A new show that I fell in love with and an old program that I have adored for a lifetime.

The first show was an off-Broadway production called "Forever Dusty" at an intimate, packed theater. This brisk musical told the story of Dusty Springfield, a husky-voiced singer from the 70s who defied sexual, racial and societal norms of the times. It was fabulous, with terrific music, an immensely talented five-person cast and a true passion for the art of inspirational storytelling. The star of the show, who also co-wrote the script, made time to greet the audience afterward and sign autographs. "Dusty" was the highlight of our fun weekend in New York, illustrating that there's no people like show people, like no people we know...

The next day, we left the Big Apple to return to Philly. It was Oscar night, so we wanted to get back to our nests to hunker down.

The evening started off with a question mark when I realized that one of the Red Carpet hosts was a Real Housewife of Some Wealthy American City. She wore a tacky dress with a neck line that plunged to her esophagus and America kept waiting for her nipples to make their television debut. She had no interviewing talent, no savvy and no bra. It was no good.

Onto the actual Academy Awards show.

It started off slow.

It got even slower.

When you start monitoring the clock by your bedside to see how much longer the opening segment will last, you know this will not be an entertainment affair to remember.

Oscar hosts, may I share a little secret? We don't give a #%!@! about you. We are watching to see the stars, so please don't act like a self-centered blind date who only talks about himself, then adds a few more stories about himself, only to top it off with a quirky tale or two about - you guessed it! - himself.

And do you know what happens when a date becomes annoying? Everything starts to seem creepy. For example, Seth MacFarlane's clapping began to sound tinny and relentless. And the song and dance number from the 2002 movie Chicago seemed jaw-droppingly out of place. Did I miss something? Perhaps - I'll admit that I dozed off periodically throughout the three-and-a-half hour show.

And that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Oscar. I may have mentioned it before, but allow me to recap: YOU ARE MUCH TOO LONG WINDED. Michelle Obama was lovely, but how many fans were still watching by the time she made her appearance? You need to whittle down the Academy Awards or you'll soon go the way of Miss America, with lots of gowns and no audience.

Yes, I love you, Oscar, and I always have.

But this year, I felt distant from you. Was it because you didn't seem to have a smidgen of the love or the drive that I saw the day before on a New York stage?

Think about it, you big hunk of golden wonder.

Maybe next year you'll drop all the gobbledygook and put on a real show for those of us who absolutely worship you.

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Reader Comments (2)

These "REALITY" shows are modern day soap operas. The participants are mere Court Jesters and Clowns.

February 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

I guess this confirms my suspicions that i didn't miss much. The lack of comments on facebook were my first clue. Be sure to forward this to the Academy - I want a good show next year! xoxo

February 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

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