THE PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE PAWS

Sammy Girl had some work done lately.

That's what I'm calling it, anyway, to make her feel better about the scar on her face.

Sammy is our 11-year-old mutt who had a growth on her cheek, which the vet examined last year and classified as "just fatty tissue." Sammy and I decided that we could both work with that and went on our way. We subsequently learned from other dog owners that growths on old dogs are inevitable, like the middle-age spread, unfortunate fashion choices and an affinity for coupons that come with human aging. 

So I figured we were just part of the geriatric canine crowd until Sammy's growth just...well, GREW. Where strangers used to say, "What a nice doggie" they instead asked, "What the hell's that thing on her face?"  

So when hubby and I took Sammy back to the vet, we heard the diagnosis that all three of us dreaded: She needed surgery to remove that Little Shop of Horrors growth. I should have asked how serious her condition was, but being the loving soul that I am, I instead inquired: "Um, Doc, about how much will this cost?" He estimated that, along with a much-needed teeth cleaning, anesthesia, blood work and a giant dog biscuit to lure her into the OR, "About five or six." On the ride home, it occurred to us that he hadn't been terribly specific, and we prayed that he meant five or six hundred, NOT thousand... (He did.)

So she had the operation one morning and when we nervously picked her up that afternoon she basically looked like a mutt version of Frankenstein, with big stitches and a drain literally stuck into the side of her face. What it was draining, we didn't ask. When you are in a vet's office, you just shake your head affirmatively, as if you fully understand the intricate post-surgical care instructions they're rattling off, then you head for the exit as fast as you can drag your frazzled pet.

Post-surgery, Sammy had to wear a giant cone around her neck (the vet people called it an "Elizabethan Collar" which I think is brilliant branding, especially if you are an Anglophile or a big PBS fan), making eating, walking up steps and growling convincingly at other dogs quite a challenge.

Two weeks after surgery, Sammy Girl is her old self again, save for a gaping hole on her face where the drain had been.

She started with a growth on her face and ended with a hole in her face?

Hey, I said she had work done, I didn't say she was gonna magically transform into Lassie or that adorable Jack Russell in THE ARTIST.

Not to worry, Sammy Girl: You could grow an extra claw, but as long as you're by my side, you'll always be beautiful to me.