The Knee Bone's Connected To ...

Such a face! Daddy Bones@ age 12, gracing the book's cover.


 How to Keep Your Sanity Intact When a Loved One Needs a Nursing Home  

It’s estimated that more than 50 million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year.

Studies show that extremely stressed caregivers can age or die prematurely. 

“Bette Davis said ‘old age is no place for sissies,’ but caring for an older loved one isn’t for the feint of heart, either,” says Bones. “I loved my dad and we were very close, but the strain of ‘putting’ him in a nursing home was so overwhelming for all of us that I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.”

Becoming aware of some of the don’ts” of long-term care can make daily life easier for nursing home residents and for their family caretakers,” she notes.

Bones offers some key examples from her Nursing Home Checklist:

· Ask clergy, family, and friends - especially those in the health care field - to recommend outstanding nursing homes.

· When touring a nursing home, ask other visitors for frank feedback about the facility. Don’t just inspect the “sample” room, look into residents’ rooms to check for cleanliness.

· Assure your loved one that you will be their ongoing advocate.

· Visit your loved one often and at varying times of the day - and night. This alerts all of the caregivers that you are keeping an eye on your loved one.

· Get to know the staff, especially your loved one’s immediate caregivers.

· Thank the employees for the thankless job that they do.

· Put your loved one’s name on all their belongings, including clothes and personal products. Never leave money or valuables in their room.

· Place a quilt, photos and other small touches to create a “homey” room.

· Put a brief bio and picture of your loved one at the entrance of their room to “introduce” them to staff and visitors.

. Bring old photos when you visit your loved one - it will give you something to look at if conversation lags.

. Bring different edible treats to spice-up the resident's menu.





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Have I Got (Unfreakingbelievable) News for You...

- The at-large maniac and small time thief who shot two state police troopers and killed one of them has been described as a self-styled survivalist, to which I say "bulldinky." He ain't no survivalist, he's a coward who already proved that he couldn't manage to accomplish what most people do every day: Go to work, pay rent, watch unreality shows and live like real grownups instead of bunking with Mommy and Daddy.This idiot's idea of a good time was playing in "recreational military simulations as a Serbian soldier." Bet that hobby looked enticing on his profile, huh? He couldn't just grow a scraggly beard and dress up in Civil War garb like a typical American reinactor, he had to find an obscure Southeast European conflict to recreate with other misfit lunatics. I guess he had plenty of time to indulge in his misguided playtime because he didn't have to show up for an actual job. You call that surviving? More like teetering on the edge, pal. As with all murderers, I refuse to mention his name and grant him the publicity his warped brain craves. Survivor? Hardly. That label goes to the widow and children of Cpl. Byron Dickson, the trooper who he massacred for no reason. So please, after using dogs, helicopters and a helium-filled balloon to hunt down this demented creep in the dense woods of the Poconos, do not describe him as a survivalist. He is a deranged opportunist with too much time on his bloodied hands.Lock him up and let's see how long the punk "survives" in a maximum-security prison...

- Supreme Leader (North Korea's title, not mine) Kim Jong Un's long disappearance from public view may all boil down to a cyst in his right ankle. Bummer. The world was waiting for a more exotic explanation for his absence, but apparently the story is more like listening to your Aunt Edith painstakingly describe her bunion procedure. Unfortunately, Kim is only 31-years-old, a bit young to start falling apart. A South Korean spy agency has followed AnkleGate closely and attributes his medical condition to Kim's "obesity, smoking and heavy public schedule." Ouch, at this rate, the world's youngest head of state is gonna be feeble by age 40, leaving him scant time to continue the persecution and execution of his people. In that case, smoke 'em if ya got em, Kim!

- My favorite imbecile world leader, Putin, has also made headlines, this time because his government is closing McDonalds restaurants in Russia as "payback for the United States' support of Ukraine." Really, Vladimir (say it twice - it's FUN!), is taking french fries out of the mouths of your comrades the strongest strategy you have? Take your shirt off, hop up on your horse and ride into the sunset, buddy. We've had enough of your macho blatherings. Put that in your special sauce and eat it.

- The Dalai Lama really knows how to slay 'em. At a recent talk at Princeton University, when a student asked him what was the key to happiness, the Dalai Lama replied" Money...or sex." There was silence in the room until the ivy league audience realized that he was just joshing them. Bada boom! He then addressed the main theme of his presentation - developing inner strength and compassion - and the audience listened to the Buddhist leader because he embraced the trick used by wise speakers through the ages: always open with a joke. Now we know that the Dali Lama has a sense of humor and, according to recent headlines, the Pope has a heart. Hey, things are lookin' up, folks! Who knows what's next - Kim and Vladimir doing standup?   


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