WE'LL HAVE NUN OF THAT, MISTER...

Bold, Brazen Articles.

That's what nuns used to call kids when they misbehaved.

But that phrase could apply to Catholic Church leaders who reprimanded the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, the largest umbrella group of nuns in America, for taking positions that "undermine church teachings on the priesthood and homosexuality, while promoting certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith."

The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that "Conservative Catholics have long complained that the majority of sisters in the United States have grown too liberal..."

Yeah, because if there is one quality automatically associated with nuns, it's liberalism.

And exactly who are these super conservative Catholics who think that nuns have gotten too radical? As a lifelong Catholic (if not a very good one), I'm fairly certain that, like Rick Santorum, Catholicism doesn't need to become more conservative. It's like the time my sister and I drove through a Kentucky Fried Chicken takeout window and the KFC employee asked us if we wanted our chicken EXTRA crispy. "Dang," we wanted to say to the lady, "Have you seen this chicken? Just how much crisper can it get?" Some things just don't need to become any crisper - or more conservative. I long to tell the conservatives and the Vatican to leave the damn nuns alone, for God's sake.

Of course, like many Catholic school alums, I have mixed feelings about nuns. True, they did occasionally beat their students, but then again, back in the day, they'd put a 24-year-old nun in front of a classroom packed with 80 third graders and expect her to maintain order.

But I also remember many kind sisters and one of the first points I learned from a nun was this simple gem: "God is love."

Today's nuns are out of the classroom and working in the trenches. I volunteer at an AIDS hospice/residence that was founded by nuns and is still staffed by a nun (or two). While the ranks of nuns are dwindling, those that are left seem to be working with the poor, the disadvantaged, the ill, the forgotten and the homeless in America and abroad. If you want an example of a nun who is a modern day saint, just Google Sister Mary Scullion from Philadelphia.

Perhaps some of today's nuns' "liberal" views come from the fact that they are in the front lines of humanity, ministering to actual people, not pontificating from an office decorated with priceless antiques and artwork.

Need I mention that the Church is awash in a priest pedophile scandal that makes even the most devout Catholic cringe in disgust and shame?

Of course, that is what makes the nun scolding so maddening. Is the Church trying to deflect attention from their wayward sons by berating their hard-working daughters for having an opinion? Haven't they been treated like second-class handmaidens of the Church for long enough?

Maybe the Church higher-ups should stop acting like Bold Brazen Articles.

If I recall correctly, the Sisters definitely don't take too kindly to that kind of behavior.