AND NOW, IN LIVING COLOR...

The painter Claude Monet said "Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment" and, boy oh boy, can I relate.

Just recently, I received two overwhelmingly colorful brochures in the mail and my immediate reaction was: WHY?

The first publication was from the Philadelphia Orchestra, the esteemed, internationally renowned organization that has suffered miserable financial woes in the 21st century. These folks barely have enough bucks to pay their cellists, yet they sent me a magazine-sized 2012-13 schedule, 16 pages long, all in a stunning four-color format. I assume that I was on their mailing list because I purchased two tickets to a Sunday afternoon concert three years ago - hardly a preferred member or a major supporter of the arts who deserves much more than a modest postcard or two.

While it's clear that the Orchestra marketers have to spend money to make money, surely they could have accomplished the same feat with a color cover followed by six black and white pages. I actually felt guilty placing their lovely work of art in the recycling bin and couldn't help but wonder if a local percussionist or two were somewhere crying over their deflated pension or lack of basic dental coverage...

The second slick publication in my mailbox came from State Senator Vincent Hughes. This periodical paled when compared to the orchestra's masterpiece - only three pages, front and back - but it was packed with a collage of color photos chronicling all the good deeds the Senator has accomplished for his grateful constituents. Of course, this type of pat-on-the-back, remember-me-come-election-time, is de rigueur for local politicians, but my questions is this: Why does it have to be so darn tootin' fancy? This report even included a "aren't we successful and beautiful" color photo of the senator and his wife for an award they won. In the shot, they are all dolled-up and cuddling like Angelina and Brad on the red carpet. Put it in your holiday card, folks, but please don't pay for it with my tax dollars, especially when schools are cutting programs and services are being slashed like Edward Scissorhands was in charge of budgeting. Ya wanna cut the fat? Ban all four-color mailings from elected officials and give us your news in black and white.

Just to irritate me even more, today's mail arrived with a 30-page "Journal" from BJ's, the members-only, consumer's heaven wholesale club. Every page was as vibrant and colorful as the Philadelphia International Flower Show on opening day. Oh, so maybe that's why that 30-roll mega-pack of toilet paper at BJ's isn't as cheap as I had hoped.

Call me curmudgeonly, but color me - and Claude Monet - tormented and downright annoyed.